Magic Number
Don Southworth | Jun 28, 2021
MY MOM AND DAD split up when I was seven years old. Money was an issue for the rest of my childhood. Mom was rarely able to work fulltime and, according to her, child support and alimony were never enough. When I started working a newspaper stand at age 12, I was expected to give 25% of my daily take for rent. Mom also demanded that I save at least 10%. Depending on the headlines, I would make between $1.50 and $3 each day. Each night, I would drop a few coins in my savings cup. I never had an allowance, but I was a high-roller when it came to hanging out with my middle-school friends over cokes and candy bars (which might mean I wasn’t too good at saving). To my mom’s chagrin, I didn’t share her passion for saving money as I grew into young adulthood. Between a growing gambling addiction and a penchant for using credit cards to finance everyday life, my financial life was in ruins by my early 20s. Thankfully, I got help for the gambling addiction and fell in love with a woman who took financial management and budgeting seriously. On our second date, I went to her apartment to pick up her and her three-year-old son to see the latest Disney movie. She invited me into the kitchen for a drink of water. On the refrigerator was her biweekly budget for all the world, and maybe especially me, to see. It wasn’t a rounded-up budget, either. It was a “$78 for food, $11 for telephone, $35 for gas and $43 for savings” type of budget. It scared me so much I almost didn’t ask her out again. I have now been married to her for more than 35 years. While we eventually overcame…
Read more » CDs and Cemeteries
Don Southworth | Sep 27, 2021
“A YEAR TO LIVE.” That’s the name of a class I’ve been teaching on and off for the past 20 years. My hope: Participants will gain more understanding, acceptance and peace about one of life’s few guarantees—death. This year’s class members have a little over five months left to live. Every group is a little different. Some people resist the practicalities of preparing for death: putting things in writing, making medical and funeral arrangements, and divvying up their possessions. Others struggle with the spiritual and emotional preparations, such as making amends, letting go of control and telling those close to them how much they’ve meant. Last month’s homework included visiting a local cemetery to reflect on how we’re doing. Less than half of this year’s class made time for the cemetery visit. Those who did reported little impact, saying that—since they plan on being cremated—the cemetery didn’t mean much to them. I visited our local historical cemetery for the first time. I’ve loved cemeteries for as long as I can remember. I make a point of visiting them whenever I can. They’re one of the few public places where we acknowledge death. Normally, I start by finding famous people’s plots, which are often a pilgrimage site. But this time, I couldn’t find the famous politicians’ or national championship coach’s resting places. I decided to find a shady spot, sit on a bench dedicated in memory to a loved one, and meditate. I was surrounded by the graves of Edward who died in 2017 at the age of 86, Nancy who died in 2013 at 77, and Titus Elijah who died at seven. Ken was born in 1942 and Jacqueline was born in 1947. No dates of death yet. I was reminded, once again, that the rich and famous—like the rest…
Read more » A New Life
Don Southworth | Dec 25, 2023
DECEMBER IS A BUSY month for everyone. But it seems especially busy for clergy and those who work with money. If you work with money, there are important tasks to complete, such as planning for taxes, ensuring your investment allocations are where they should be, making charitable contributions, and getting ready for the new financial year. Meanwhile, when I was serving a congregation as a minister, December was full of gatherings and services to celebrate the traditions and holidays that come this time of year. I’d lead classes and services on the wisdom of the world’s religions, and talk about things such as holiday depression, generosity and self-care. There were sweets to prepare and eat, carols to sing and candles to light, culminating in the Christmas Eve services, when we’d gather to tell ancient stories, rejoice in community, and remember the hope and peace possible in our hearts and our world. I’ve been reminded in the past few weeks of my favorite Christmas Eve service. That year, a couple decided to have their baby dedicated on Christmas Eve. A child dedication in my religious tradition is when we celebrate the child. The parents, family, friends and congregation publicly vow to love, cherish and teach each child as he or she grows. Prayers would be recited, blessings would be shared, and the magic and hope that come with each new life would be remembered. Many celebrate Christmas because, in the Christian tradition, it’s a time to honor and remember the birth of Jesus. But most historians agree that late December is not Jesus’ birthday. The birth of Jesus, the lighting of a menorah and welcoming the winter solstice are three of the many traditions we celebrate to prepare for the darkness that comes this time of year. The birth of a…
Read more » Taught by Others
Don Southworth | Sep 21, 2021
THE DEEPER I SETTLE into semi-retirement, the more I miss something that I didn’t realize was important to me: working with and learning from a diverse group of people. I was lucky that, for most of my four-decade career, I was employed by profit-making and nonprofit organizations that were committed to workforce diversity. I miss how easy it was to be challenged and changed by difference. Sometimes, it was on pop culture. Sometimes, it was on something much more important. During my career, I learned how many things I take for granted as a white male: walking alone safely at night, driving without worrying about random police stops, making more for doing the same work, and the respect I got at work even when others deserved more. Awareness of our society’s diversity seems especially absent from the world of finance. I was reminded of this recently when I spoke to a woman of color who was in her mid-30s. She’s beginning to learn about investing and financial planning. She was, of course, confused by the financial alphabet soup that we forget is a foreign language to most. As I explained Roths, 401(k)s, 403(b)s, ETFs, ESG, cryptocurrencies and mutual funds, I was struck once again by how hard it can be for young people and people of color to break through the cultural, gender and class biases that often come with financial advice. Not everybody grew up with parents who invested in the stock market or even had a bank account. Not everybody today has the chance to own a home or has a job with employee benefits. As a relatively old, white, heterosexual male, it’s easy to forget that any experience, advice or wisdom I bring has been filtered through my racial, cultural and gender lenses. I often assume that…
Read more » Game Changer
Don Southworth | Aug 24, 2021
I FELL IN LOVE with baseball in 1965. My parents were in the midst of divorcing. I found sanctuary listening to San Francisco Giants’ games on the radio. I put on my batting helmet and pretended I was Willie Mays swinging at every pitch or diving on my bed catching imaginary lines drives. Willie had a magical year and, although the hated Dodgers nosed us out in the end, a lifelong passion was born. I preached on miracles when I applied for fellowship as a minister. Jesus’ acts were nowhere to be found in baseball. Still, the story of the 1969 “miracle” New York Mets—and this 11-year-old’s awe—were central to my message. Baseball was an annual sermon then because, for fans like me, it is a magical, mystical game that has meaning far beyond runs, errors and base hits. The 1989 film Field of Dreams, a story about fathers, sons, baseball heroes and ghosts coming out of a cornfield in Iowa, highlighted the spirituality of the game. Major League Baseball recently played its first game at the Iowa cornfield where the movie was made. The Yankees and White Sox entered the field through the corn and played before an intimate crowd of 8,000. Millions more watched on television. It was the highest-rated regular season game in years. The game ended dramatically when Tim Anderson of the White Sox hit a walk-off home run into the cornfield to win the game. Ironically, Anderson has never seen Field of Dreams. He was born after the movie was made. Like many young ballplayers, especially those of color, the storyline of old-time white baseball players coming back to life doesn’t really resonate. Baseball has become too slow and too boring for more and more people. It’s become an old man’s game. Players like Anderson…
Read more » Santa Claus Rally
Don Southworth | Dec 25, 2021
THERE ARE FEW certainties in life, but December always brings a few. Our neighbors will decorate their houses with bright lights, our mailbox will be stuffed with letters asking for charitable donations and the financial pundits will speculate whether there’ll be a Santa Claus rally this year. If you’re a regular reader of HumbleDollar, you know that a Santa Claus rally has the potential to fill our portfolios with extra dollars via higher stock and mutual fund prices. But the Santa Claus rally I want to share has been much more valuable to me than a few extra percentage points added to my net worth. I was in my early 20s and slowly putting my life back together after bankrupting myself with my compulsive gambling addiction. As the holidays came around, I began feeling lonely and even more depressed than usual. I had lost my money, my girlfriend and most of my self-esteem. A friend suggested I spend Thanksgiving delivering meals to seniors who couldn’t get out of the house. For at least one day, I forgot myself and felt good because of the smiles and joy my deliveries had brought. The Christmas season was going to be even harder. I’m the kind of guy who watches all the holiday movies and cartoons and can’t get enough of the spirit of giving. I decided to leverage my Thanksgiving learnings. I went to the costume shop and bought the most expensive Santa suit I could find. If I had a financial advisor back then, she would have warned against adding the equivalent of a week’s pay to my credit card debt. But more than 35 years later, I can say it was one of the best purchases I ever made. I soon became a volunteer in the Santa Claus helper patrol.…
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